We were asked this question today: How do you cope with infant loss?
Spoiler: we are still coping.
A: Thank you for reading our story to be honest, we're still coping... it is not something that we ever "get over"
At first we thought something was wrong with us, we didn't speak of Launa (our first daughter) for 7 years.
Remembering them fully is 2 parts for us,
1st we remember their death, which is the hardest part. Grief and mourning is how we remember their death... we feel it deeply and it carves at our soul. The depth of physical pain is excruciating, but grief is one of love's purest expressions. It is beautiful and should be experienced fully. We also graciously accept gifts and gestures in their honor. The fact that others remember them is always something we appreciate.
2nd we have learned to remember their life. Though they were gone too soon, their gift is enough to change us forever. There are many who struggle with infertility and never even have the opportunity to experience pregnancy. We celebrate their gift to us by giving in their honor. It may be a random act of kindness... some form of service... we see proof of the good they brought to our lives when we do good because of them.
Anytime we need a reminder of their gift, we just go out and give something.
When you see a person smile because of your child... you will know what we mean.
They have changed us forever and we believe God sent them to us to inspire us to be better people.
If everyone who has lost a child will take little opportunities every day to prove their child's life has blessed them... we all would be better people and the world would be a better place.
There is no foot too small to leave an imprint in this world. Sometimes that little imprint remains in the hearts of the parents. The imprint is so deep it can crush you... don't keep it to yourself... let that gift spread to others and it will literally change the world. We invite you to give this a try... do something good today with no strings attached... your reward is their smile; proof that your baby is a living blessing.
Sending Gratitude, Love and Hope - Shaun and Lavon